(((hopeful))) take another deep breathe. I see your concern and fears, are you afraid it's him that wants to drink? That he's telling you all this to rationalize it to hisself? We can only be sabatoged if we give in to it. Thing is alcoholics can't avoid alcohol completley because it is everywhere, billboards, tv, restaurants, it's all over the place like a bad rash. My sister who is a sober alcoholic tells me she had to learn how to be around it and be able to avoid it. That it's as nearby as the store next door in the cough meds. If they want to drink they will, if they don't they'll try to seek a way not to. His boss will not hold that booze to his mouth and make him drink it. I know you know this and your scared of losing what y'all have accomplished so far. Your aware that the way it is affecting you right now is not good for you. We're all human, we all don't do things right sometimes but the only thing we can do is try to do it better. Call an alanon freind, contact your support people, you've reached out here thats a good start. Get back in control of yourself, you can't change what he's going to do or not do. It's not in your power. Do it for you. Hugs, Teggie