Most of the relationship books I've read and all of what I've learned in Al-anon is to begin these types of conversations (when the A is not drunk) with the statement "When this happens, I feel..." Making it about the feelings and not about accusing is a great opener. You may have done that and still feel that it's not working for you, but that may mean that your A is unable to communicate in reality because of his addiction. That happens a lot in our situation, too.
Thanks! I'm sad to hear that I'm not alone...but glad to know that this wasn't just me.
We are both software engineers and I tend to be more social and one of the more popular than the people that I work with. Telling me I have social issues tended to be a sore spot for me. (He didn't even know that I found his list about me so I know he really believes this.) I'm sure that I do have SOME social issues compared to others being that i work on computers for a living and am so introverted, but I don't feel that it's anything that would be a big deal.