steve, the no contact can be hard but it also gets better in time. once you start this you will notice a change in YOU. you have to be committed though and we sometimes fall off the horse with it but its getting back on that matters. I can relate to them feeling like scumbags or that we hate them. my AH actually said that to me, "do you hate me that much"..my reply finally was "No I hate what you have become"
thats a clear message.