Xuse,
You are def not alone in this. Like you, and many others I numbed out my feelings, things from the past, things that were from that present time... I thought I always had to be the tough b**ch that had to just suck it up and move on. So I drank until it didn't work anymore and I was close to suicide.
Dealing with all these feelings when they emerge one after another in sobriety can be rough, especially in the beginnig. But sobriety makes it possible to learn how to accept them and to deal with them. And it makes you grow.
So what you said makes sense to me. And I bet to many others too. You'll always find people that can relate here.
Good luck, and take care, LS