xuse

I chose xuse cause when it came to drinkin i always have one from i think i deserve it to issues i thought never botherd me but i realize now they do like my father died when i was very young i also have a.d.d theres alot of things i thought i dealt with cause i was tuff and never wanting to feel sorry for myself but now i think i drank and it numbed me and i liked it and those isues i never knew were issues really are this wont make sense to yall just thinking out load

Dee74

I think a lot of us had a lot of things we never really dealt with Xuse.
Addictions like that.

Good to see you posting regularly again
D

Anna

It makes a lot of sense.

I also didn't realize how much my depression and anxiety was affecting me. Like you, I thought I just needed to get on with it. Eventually, I turned to drinking to help me through that. And, of course, when you stop drinking, the problems are still there.

You're doing great!

LifeIsCake

Hi Xuse. I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm bipolar but until last year I was only being treated for depression and extreme anxiety. From 2000 until 2006 I was also in an abusive relationship. I started to drink because I couldn't sleep but then I realized that if I kept drinking I would black-out and not feel a thing....not the mental issues....not my now ex-husband....not the abuse. Being I've finally learned that those things are still there (except the ex's abuse....unless you count his slamming the door in my face because he doesn't want to hear what I have to say about our son). I'm actually learning how to like NOT feeling numb now. So far so good.

Good luck. You're definitely not alone.

6yearsold

I posted something similiar like this about feeling like a kid again and having to deal with my emotions now. I can't seem to even begin to understand why I do or do the things I do when I drink. Its incredibly personal but jus trust me... I do terrible terrible things when I drink and I dont know why?? I feel like I need to figure out why and being newly sober(or even just imagining a completely sober life) is incredibly intense and emotional.

To be honest with you- the emotions I deal with being sober are far worse than I ever imagined when I was in the constant of booze.

Lionne

Xuse,
You are def not alone in this. Like you, and many others I numbed out my feelings, things from the past, things that were from that present time... I thought I always had to be the tough b**ch that had to just suck it up and move on. So I drank until it didn't work anymore and I was close to suicide.

Dealing with all these feelings when they emerge one after another in sobriety can be rough, especially in the beginnig. But sobriety makes it possible to learn how to accept them and to deal with them. And it makes you grow.

So what you said makes sense to me. And I bet to many others too. You'll always find people that can relate here.
Good luck, and take care, LS