I am getting sooooo frustrated with the roller coaster
ride my dry drunk tries to put me on!
We haven't been getting along very well lately. He ended up spending the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving Day at a Motel 6. Early on Thanksgiving Day, somehow, he managed to fall in the shower. He suffered a head concussion and fractured vertebrates in his neck. After he got dressed he went to the front desk to file an incident report. Some "words" were exchanged between him and the desk clerk. He ended up throwing the motel magnet card at the motel clerk. She called the police and supposedly filed battery charges on him. He came back home, and then went to get medical treatment for his pain he suffered from the fall. Well, now he is complaining about the medical treatment he is receiving.
He has been psycholical abusive to me and my two sons. It got so bad that I had to reach out to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Service for their help. First thing yesterday morning he went to the ER. Thank goodness for pain medicine. He slept most of the day and night. This morning he had a doctor's appointment. Before he left he just acted like everything was normal. I don't feel like everything is normal! It feels as if the other shoe will drop at any time! I feel if I let down my guard down, his abuse will begin again.
I'm wondering when will his actions catch up to him? He's dealing with medical doctors why can't they see what is going on with him? I know that they know what he is like......he just can't hide his anger!
I have been able to recognize my relationship with my DDH is psychological and emotional abuse. The effects of being put down, chronically neglected, and made to feel "crazy" are tremendously damaging. The reality is my DDH is supposed to love me, yet how he treats me and his sons is very difficult to swallow and accept.
I did an internet surf and found a helpful free ebook "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse" written by Sharon Cook.
She, also, listed the following 5 strategies that will help counteract the messages my psychological abuser is giving me about myself:
1. Take care of your physical body. The mind and body are connected in profound ways, and caring for one will improve the state of the other. Eat healthy meals, take vitamins and supplements if necessary, and initiate an exercise program (check with your doctor first).
2. Enlist the aid of a counselor who specializes in abuse issues. A counselor is vital in cases where there is any concern that the emotional abuse could become physical, but even in non-physical cases of psychological abuse, a professional unbiased therapist will be of tremendous value in resetting the mindset your abuser
has pushed upon you.
3. Gather your trusted friends and family close to you to help you "reprogram" your thinking about yourself. Your abuser has an agenda to make you feel inferior, less moral, less intelligent, or even crazy, in order to control you. Listen to your friends and family who love you and will give you a different assessment of who you are. They have no reason not to tell you the truth.
4. Do one thing every day that honors you and your preferences. Make a list of small kindnesses you can do for yourself. Each day, choose one and take the time and energy to do that thing to cherish yourself. You are worth it!
5. Whenever possible, avoid contact with your abuser. You will only receive negative messages as this person seeks to regain control of you and convince you that you need him or her to survive. You are competent, and capable of much more than you believe of yourself. If necessary, when the abuser talks to you, repeat "lalalalalalalalala"
in your head to avoid taking in the negative messages.
I hope this information can help someone!
Love and Peace,
Phoenix
*****************************
*********** **********