i know it might be hard to believe, but that is a good sign that he needs a break from his relationship with you so that he can focus on his recovery.
i know it's not easy for you, but it is good that he is giving his single focus to tackling alcoholism.
try not to awfulize about the future which hasn't ocurred yet.
is there anything that you wished you had the time to pursue? a new interest? try to put the focus back on yourself and what you want in your life.
naive