Originally Posted by
pixilation 
Well, I did wonder why they were still trying to call me, email me, etc when they had said all those nasty things about me. but I actually believed him when he said he'd never lie to me.
God, I'm frakking heart sick right now. this last year has been the worst year ever, and it all could have been avoided.
I had a very similar thing happen to me.
I had gone to visit one of my oldest childhood friends and his wife, after losing touch for several years.
Some time after my visit, my then aw relayed some similar "not very flattering" things that they had told her about me, and I actually believed HER. My bad.
This is a guy who goes all the way back to 5th grade, and his wife of 20 years always thought I hung the moon, no way would they bad mouth me to ANY one, much less my own wife, but again I believed it for years. MY BAD.
I've recently reconnected with them, and thought about asking them, but do I really need to? No.
Part of the alcoholic MO is to separate us from family and friends, and I allowed that to happen. If we have a support group in place, to run things by, half of the crap our alcoholics try to pitch us wouldn't fly.
"Divide and conquer" is a common alcoholic strategy. My axw pulled this off so slowly over many years that I never noticed. It wasn't till I was out of the chaotic alcoholic atmosphere for a while, that my head quit spinning and lots of things have become apparent to me.
Abusers use this same technique. Now that you are opening up to your friends and family, be prepared to find out lots more. It's like bazaaro land.
I don't think "normal" (what ever that is) people even think like this, which is part of the reason it is so effective. Who would ever in their wildest imagination, ever believe someone who professes to love us, would even dream of something so sinister and underhanded. Not to mention have the stones to actually attempt to pull it off. IDK. Boggles my mind if I let it!
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote