Hi bonbon, Welcome Back!
I can definitely relate! I married at 17 to an A...had to children with him...divorced him...and remarried him.....back and forth with him for years...after last brake up with him...(1 week later) met another man...had 2 kids with him....back and forth with him.....after last brake up with the second(5 days later) met another man...and moved in with him.......etc. etc ....!!!!!!
There was a reason I kept repeating the same pattern.....there were lessons I hadn't learned yet...! About 5 yrs ago I started seeing a counselor and soon after that began attenting AA! Over time, piece by piece, lesson by lesson..One day at a time...sometimes(one moment at a time) .LOL I learned to Love ME!!! Sounds simple doesnt It...........LOL Simple but difficult...yet exciting...joyful....painful...interesting.......L OL
But I am growing into the person God intented me to be!!!
All is Well.......Always....Because for me I believe God knows what he is doing...I'm always safe in his arms.......and he is in the business of holding our hands and showing us the way..........out of feeling stuck...my word was Trapped...I understand that one!!!!!
So...here you are....the first step....Cool........Keep Coming Back...Trust the Prosess....YOU are worth it!!! bye for now