welcome!
And happy holidays!
I can sure relate to the hidy stuff: I was a pro. As an AA-er, I would mention that you aren't forced to speak at meetings. It is voluntary.
I also promote any and all other kinds of programs: there are non-faith based programs like smart.
I would suggest taking some simple steps to establish your own kind of program: therapy, addiction treatment, AA or smart, or whatever. I found that I needed structure, dialog and support so I used an outpatient addiction treatment program and then AA, which is quite a comprehensive program in itself.