Have you checked out Al-Anon? Al-Anon is for primarily for friends and family members of Alcoholics and Addicts, or are you in AA? If in AA are you familiar with the traditions? The traditions are great at dealing with relationships in recovery if I practice them in my life.
I have always been taught that I should focus on myself rather than another. If he is new to recovery and working with a sponsor and working the steps then it is natural he will be undergoing dramatic changes initially.