Welcome SuzyQ - It's hard to admit we have a problem, but just know that alcoholism affects a lot of people, regardless of how capable we are otherwise. Feel good that you have the courage to want to change things for yourself.
It's very tiring (and full of anxiety) living the life of an alcoholic, isn't it? All the hiding, acquiring, discarding the empties, chewing breath mints, avoiding phone calls, making and breaking promises, worrying about our health, etc. etc..... and just wanting to be alone with no one to "bother" us while we drink. You're right: it's no way to live.
I found that my anxiety got 100% better after I got sober. Hang in there and take it a day at a time - you can do it!:ghug3