transformyself

Hey everyone

So the Tall Editor I "dated" is really getting on my nerves.

I'm very clear that I'm:
on deadline, really, until mid January
I've got one kids birthday in mid December, a newspaper to put out Jan 2 and another due out mid January. Plus the freaking holidays.


He claims to understand I have limited time, says that he is to be used as "stress relief," and doesn't want to create more problems for me, but seriously, he just wants to sleep with me again. I do not feel relieved of stress when I see him on my caller ID, I feel like oh great. Here's someone else who wants something from me.

When he calls I"m annoyed and don't even answer. He listens, patiently, to me talk talk talk about work, about the struggle of the movement (I work in politics) but his intentions are very clear.

This feeling is no longer recipricated. When we first met I had a blast. I was thrilled that someone who was not an A was interested in me, he's smart and very kind and polite. I really liked him. And yes, I"m very sexual, but I"m also getting turned off. I think he's desperate, and that, my Darlings, is not sexy. Now I know what I've looked like so often in the past. It's embarrassing.

I slept with him once. One time mind you. We had fun, thank you, but I'm over this. I like picking his brain for information, but he can also be snippy with me.

So-here's the deal. I am realizing that I build resentments because I don't communicate my boundaries clearly. Me. I do this.

So I need to have that conversation with him. But, should I be blatently honest? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I am thinking of just saying that I feel stressed out by this relationship.

Seriously, unless he can do the dishes, pack lunches or deliver newspaper 250 miles away, I dont' want to deal with him.

Then I think, am I being selfish? No. Answer: no. I would be selfish to string him along, that's all.

but the gist of this post is realizing that stuffing my feelings, refusing to state clear boundaries create the resentment I feel towards others. Then I get all mad and drama BS sets in. "Oh what should I do??" (Places hand to forehead....)

Come on Transform. Grow up and just tell the guy.