Tired of the sneaking
Well, today is actually the first time I'm going to tell others what I've been doing. I'm am finally realizing how out of control my drinking is and it is just insane that I'm "finally realizing". My choice of alcohol is wine. I love red wine, but drink white mostly because it doesn't stain my teeth. I buy the little four pack bottles because I can hide them more easily. I take them out of town on business trips. Hide them in bags in the bathroom so my fiance won't find them and so they are easily accesible for those "long showers". I drink about a bottle to a bottle in a half of wine a night and still manage to make it to work every morning. Although most mornings I'm hungover and extremly tired because I stayed up later than usual eating junk food. At first it was a little exciting for me for some reason, but now I'm mad at myself. My fiance moved out, I've been put on anti depressants, and I can't stop drinking. Fiance didn't move out because of my drinking because I was hiding the extra consumption so well, but I didn't stop him because I knew it would give me more freedom to drink when I wanted. I do love him but those damn wine bottles have more control over me. All I want to do is sit at home watch tv and drink my wine at night. This is no way to live. My family has no idea about any of this and going to rehab is not an option due to funds. Has anyone out there been able to overcome without rehab? Sorry for the long post and any suggestions or recomendations would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!