SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - No Contact failiure spells disater - and possible wedding?!
Old 12-02-2010, 06:52 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
nodaybut2day's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
oh wow. Um, ok. Can I ask you what you get out of talking to this person, who is showing some dangerous controlling traits, even from at a distance?

The schpiel about you flaunting yourself, wearing revealing clothing, etc, is a HUGE. RED. FLAG. If you think things are uncomfortable now, I'd venture to say that things will get much worse if you allow this man to come back into your life and to convince you to marry him. He'll soon be "punishing" you for hurting him and for "acting inappropriately".

Ask me how I know? I was married to a controlling and abusive man for a few years. Every single male I came in contact with was subject to his out of control jealousy. Anything I did somehow got turned into something I supposedly did to "hurt" him, and so I had to pay.

My suggestion:
Turn off the darn messenger at work.
Stop taking his calls
Block his emails

It's time to stop coddling this grown man from a continent away. Let him face the consequences of his addiction on his own.

To be honest, I don't see what you're getting out of having continued contact with him. Perhaps it's a fear of being seen as "the bad guy" for cutting him off, and I fully understand that emotion. However, I see a big bear trap ahead of you and it'll be a ridiculous pain in the rear end to get free once you step in willingly.
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