Hi bochuck
Welcome back.
I know it's hard but you need to focus on you and your sobriety right now - and no help available out there should be out of bounds IMO. Its your life you're fighting for here - as well, but even more, than your marriage.
Actions speak louder than words - I made all the promises and apologies in the world but in the end I needed to do something bochuck - not for those who loved me, but for me - because I realised if I'm sober I at least have a chance of righting my life - drunk I'm certain losing everything.
How important is it to you to stay sober? I have to say if it was me I'd have already looked up every recovery meeting in a 50 km radius.
Here's some links to the main recovery players
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Do see your Dr if you've been drinking heavily for a while, and do read and post here as much as you like - the support is wonderful
D