bochuck

HI I WAS HERE MONTHS AGO AND QUIT DRINKING FOR I THINK 45 DAYS WELL. I STARTED UP AGAIN AWHILE AGO. LAST NIGHT I WAS AGRY LIKE I AM AFTER WINE WELL SOMETIMES. I WANTED TO GO OUT FOR CIGS MY HUSBAND HID MY KEYS AND I STARTED YELLING AND THROWING THINGS. HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS CRAP. ANYWAY IT IS THE END HE TOOK HIS WEDDING RING OFF AND WANTS ME OUT. I CAN'T JUST LEAVE I HAVE NO MONEY AND WE JUST MOVED HERE SO I DON'T KNOW A SOUL. I AM JUST VENTING BUT THIS TIME I DON'T THINK HE WILL EVER FORGIVE ME. OTHER THAN NEVER DRINKING AGAIN DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS? HE HAS HEARD IT ALL BEFORE THAT I WILL STOP. I CAN'T GO TO AA BECAUSE OF MY JOB I TRAVEL ALL THE TIME AND DON'T HAVE TIME WHEN I AM TRAVELING. I WILL BE ON HERE ALOT BECAUSE IT HELPED ME BEFOR. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO MY HUSBAND. SORRY ISN'T GOING TO CUT IT

doggonecarl

Sorry, but that's the answer. Quit drinking.

What did you expect to hear? Moderate your drinking?

And there probably isn't anything you can tell your husband. As you said, he's heard it before. ACTIONS speak louder than words. You achieved 45 days before, and that's remarkable. Why not try again. And try not to be so dismissive of AA. I bet there are AA meetings everywhere you travel. Or try SMART recovery techniques. Work on your recovery has hard as you worked on drinking. You'll be surprised at what you can accomplish.

SSIL75

I just read back your posts and your DH is an alcoholic too, it sounds like?

I'm not in AA but it sounds like you are making excuses (I have done that, too!). If you have time to drink every night then you have time to go to meetings.You said in another post that you don't drink when you're traveling? Even if you weren't being truthful, AA is everywhere.

imatryinhard

Reading your post makes my stomach churn. This thing known as alcoholism is so awful. Reminds me of all those I have hurt in the same fashion.

I now know the drinking MUST stop. Other options is like still believing in Santa Clause - it's a joke really. If he goes away and you still keep drinking your gonna watch a lotta men walk through the door with the same vigor. I joke with people how I could "fill a small stadium of men I ran off" - in reality its not funny at all. It's sick.

I hope you find your way hon! Sending prayers.

bochuck

Oh I am quitting and will be on here everyday. Thanks for your reply's

Onewithwings

Glad to hear it! I had a hard time quitting my DoC, but once it is done you can begin working towards recovery. I had many relapses, but I kept getting up and dusting myself off. Never quit quitting!

Do you think you need a medical detox? I guess that would depend on how much and how often you drank. If you didn't drink while travelling I guess you'd probably be safe to quit at home.

Horselover

I understood your post to read "I'm going to quit drinking, of course, but what else can I do?" As far as the what else, I would say immerse yourself in the fact you are now a sober being and you will look to find ways of remaining that way for the next 24 hours. If you can't do meetings, which I'm not sure why. Traveling is not an issue when it comes to catching a meeting. There are meetings everywhere. Try SR, but if it doesn't provide you with what you need then you must take another step.

As far as your husband not believing you, I have been there. I had told my husband over and over and over again that I was going to quit "tomorrow." When my tomorrow came it wasn't clear to him that this was it. It was over in my head, but he had to wrap his brain around it and the only thing that did that was not only my not drinking, but my new way of living. I didn't sit in the house and white knuckle the times I wasn't able to drink in the beginning. I changed and with it things changed between us.

If your husband is a drinker then he needs to think about the change you will need to make this a long term commitment. I was lucky that my husband did not drink and therefore I could purge anything drink related. I filled the fridge with juice, soda, water and lots of beverages that would satisfy me now. I actually look forward to my coffee in the evening as I once did my wine. If I can get to this point then you certainly can too. You have to want it though. I think you do.

Fandy

try to remember how good you felt during your last time of extended sobriety. waking up rested in the morning as opposed to laying in bed, full of dread at your behavior the night before.

you might start by thanking your husband for NOT giving in to your demands for car keys...he may have saved your life and others. do you have an action plan in place to keep your resolve for sobriety? support?

Fluttering

It's not just a matter of quitting...It's learnig how to live sober...that's what this journey of recovery is all about for me....and we do that one day at a time..and we do it together

peace on the journey

juans

Wow do i know how you feel. I just lost my family for doing the same things you are. I can not count on my fingers and toes how many times i have told my ex that i was going to quit drinking. And the rage i would feel inside when she would hide my beer or dump it down the sink. She left me and took are son. You are so very lucky your husband is still there. Im on my 2nd day without a drink and boy it is very hard already. I really have no advice for you cause im just begining my journey but i wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can figure out how to keep your family together good luck.

bochuck

Yes. When. I quit before. Life. Was. Great I was. So happy. Just hope. I don't lose. My husband. I am in our. Spare. Room. Typing on my phone don't know whyit is putting. Periods on.

Fandy

everyone is here to support you and asking for help is a first step. I do not know the extent of your drinking (and de-toxing). but if the cooling off period is over at home, sit down and calmly discuss your actions and plan of action to quit with your husband. then just begin to live...it's a given that you are going to feel craptastic for a couple of days.

but you can be sober and start living your life. I wanted to clarify that what I posted before came from my own experience...i hope i didn't come off as judgmental-sounding. I've had plenty of back-slides and I always grab onto the fact that sobriety gives me the following: less anxiety, less depression, less pain. More rest, more energy(a cleaner house) and the ability to deal with my problems in a calm, sensible manner. Life didn't become perfect when i got sober, but it made certain issues a whole lot easier to manage....and i even looked better doing it.

Lenina

bochuck,

I travel for work and am on the road usually about 15 to 20 or more days a month. When I was first in recovery, my sponsor gave me assignments to do in my hotel room. I had stuff to read, things to write and I had to call her every night. It worked for me.

If AA isn't for you, have you looked at SMART? It seems a good way to go and you can do the work sheets while you're traveling.

Tomorrow is my three year anniversary free from alcohol. If I can do it, I know you can. Today I am much more healthy and content.

I'm glad to see you posting and hope you will check in on SR daily. SR helps me so much.

Love,

Lenina

Aurora80

I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. I relapsed last Sat nite and into Sun morning and got caught by my husband and it was ugly to say the least. The repercussions have been severe and he is still not over it.

That being said, with time (and our sobriety) I'm sure both our husbands will come around. At least, I hope so.

((hugs))

Dee74

Hi bochuck
Welcome back.

I know it's hard but you need to focus on you and your sobriety right now - and no help available out there should be out of bounds IMO. Its your life you're fighting for here - as well, but even more, than your marriage.

Actions speak louder than words - I made all the promises and apologies in the world but in the end I needed to do something bochuck - not for those who loved me, but for me - because I realised if I'm sober I at least have a chance of righting my life - drunk I'm certain losing everything.

How important is it to you to stay sober? I have to say if it was me I'd have already looked up every recovery meeting in a 50 km radius.

Here's some links to the main recovery players
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Do see your Dr if you've been drinking heavily for a while, and do read and post here as much as you like - the support is wonderful
D

aasharon90

I went to any lengths to
get a drink.

I learned in recovery that
if I went to any lengths
to drink, then I can go to
any lengths to stay sober.

ANY LENGTHS.

Top priority for me is to
stay sober. If I can't
stay sober then Im no
good to anyone or anything.


Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alochol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.


Did you know you are that
important? That important to
be happy and sober.

Do it for you and no one
else.

Anna

Welcome back Bochuck,

I think you know that you need to stop drinking and that you need to focus on yourself and your recovery. I hope that things work out with your marriage, but the most important thing is for you to be healthy and sober. The rest will fall into place.

bochuck

Lenina thanks I will check out smart. I would love to have things to read and workshop stuff to do. I AM ALSO IN HOTELS 15 DAYS A MONTH WITHOUT A CAR. NOW HOW DO I FIND A SPONSER

Lenina

bochuck,

I got my sponsor shortly after I got out of rehab. I was introduced to her by a counselor and she agreed to take me on. I was very blessed. She was over 10 years sober in AA.

Have you tried AA? You might check out some womens meetings. I don't know where you are but you might want to look at Women for Sobriety meetings too.

When is your next trip? Do you have time to get a few books? I like The Tao of Sobriety. I always travel with a Daily book, I like "Laugh, I thought I'd Die" by Anne Wilson Schaef. Barnes and Noble has both.

Can you take a notebook? Why don't you write out your drinking history? I found that to be very helpful. It gave me lots to think about rather than obsessing about a drink.

Love,

Lenina

Aurora80

You could find a group when you are home. Even if you only go to meetings when you are in town, that's better than nothing. You could get a sponser at home and get a Big Book and work the steps. You could call your sponsor when out of town. I understand you might not be able to find a meeting and a way to get there every single day that you're out of town, but I bet sometimes you could... if you have internet you can easily find meetings in any city/town, and some have many many meetings daily at various times and locations, so that you never know, you could maybe walk to one or take a cab very cheaply. Good luck!