I didn't want to quit drinking when I quit. Again. And again. And then it got to a point when I realized that nothing I was doing was making my life any better and that continuing to drink would only make things worse. It didn't matter anymore that I liked getting drunk. I needed to quit and I needed help to stay sober.
I couldn't get better until I stopped destroying my mind and body with booze...and I couldn't stop destroying myself until I addressed my depression. I had to face myself and admit something I didn't want to. It sounds silly now, but I never thought I was depressed...I always thought I wasn't bad enough. I didn't want to admit I have a mental illness. I couldn't see how bad I was until I stopped the boozing...and I couldn't stay sober because of the terrible thoughts in my mind. Getting help saved my a$$ and got me sober.
It's not been an easy journey, but it is manageable. If I had based my recovery solely upon my feelings I would not be sober right now. Some say recovery isn't for those who need it, but for those who want it. I say recovery is for people who work for it, whether they want it or not.
I strongly encourage you to seek medical attention to detox safely and please do whatever you need to do to stay sober.