Hi Joe -- just piping in here to say I understand what you mean about a "string" and what LaFemme says about a "scale" and I think it's great you're here and interested in changing in a way that will help you. I also believe that the term itself ("alcoholism") isn't as important as what you need to do to help yourself, and I also think there is most likely a spectrum in terms of alcoholism, what it is, what it's caused by, etc. And probably there is a line in there that can get crossed, putting people forever on one side, but as far as I'm aware, it's hard to gauge exactly where that is. For me, numerous attempts at moderation failed, and I have no interest in testing those waters again. Life without alcohol has made me feel like I'm a human again, when for a long time I felt like a lab rat, running my wheel and waiting for 5 o'clock to roll around.
My drinking did not progress on the outside, qualitatively, for the last several years, but on the inside the damage it was creating was exponentially soaring. I also had many "near misses" with alcohol being profoundly dangerous in my life, and I'm sure that, statistically speaking, sooner or later this would have caught up with me. Anyway, focus on what you have in common with the people here and not what makes you "less" or "more" alcoholic, is my advice. I am super glad that I got out of drinking as soon as I did . . . . I'm really excited to spend my 30s and beyond sober . . . yes, this was a decision to make my life better on my own terms, to take out the question of alcohol and simplify my life by returning to the things that truly bring me joy instead of drugs and alcohol. I have also accepted that biologically, brain-wise, I can't drink alcohol in a healthy, normal way. Whether this is a result of my past abuse or my genetics, I don't know -- but I suspect both.
glad you're here!