JayneCali
You wrote "I am not sober. I drink occassionally and we even did coke together 2 times in the last 6 months. His issue has always been pills, but since we werent "really" dating and I don't know much about addiction I didn't really push it. He would give me a xanax or another pill when I was super stressed and couldnt sleep."
Many people are in relationships that are unhealthy. It is often difficult to see how detrimental the relationship really is, when a person is in the middle of it. You, my dear, are in an unhealthy relationship for both your BF and yourself. Unfortunately, in the long run the two of you will end up feeding off of each other's addictions.
Addiction means always having to say you are sorry and finally, when being sorry is no longer good enough for others who have been repeatedly hurt by the addiction, addiction often means being sorry all alone. Addiction is often said to be a disease of denial but it is also a disease of regret. When the addictive process has lasted long enough and penetrated deeply enough into the life and mind of the addict, the empty space left by the losses caused by progressive, destructive addiction is filled up with regrets, if-onlys and could-have-beens. In early addiction the addict tends to live in the future; in middle and late addiction he begins to dwell more and more in the past, and it is usually an unhappy, bitterly regretted past.
First the addict lies to himself about his addiction, then he begins to lie to others. Lying, evasion, deception, manipulation, spinning and other techniques for avoiding or distorting the truth are necessary parts of the addictive process. Addiction by definition is an irrational, unbalanced and unhealthy behavior pattern resulting from an abnormal obsession, it simply cannot continue to exist under normal circumstances. The
fundamentally insane and unsupportable thinking and behavior of the addict must be justified and rationalized so that the addiction can continue and progress.
You each need to run in opposite directions!
Willingness comes from the pain, the healing comes from the steps.
Step 1. Surrender
Step 2. Sanity
Step 3. Serenity
There is a difference between “relief” and “recovery”.
Steps 1-3 bring relief
Steps 4-9 bring recovery..
Steps 10-12 maintain it…
Steps 6 & 7:
Step 6 Be willing, Be ready and let God do the work
Step 7 Humbly ask (acknowledge who I am in relation to God)
The steps to recovery is one day at a time that is meant to be worked with another and with God.
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