ok....here goes, finally!
I am not new to this site. I have been lurking for quite a long time. I have been so afraid and reluctant to post. I am a 48 year old woman that quit drinking 22 years ago. During that time I did not drink anything, not one drop. My husband (whom I thought wasn't drinking as well) had a mid life crisis (blah...blah...blah..). I found out that he has been drinking and hiding it very well (we work different shifts). He had been hiding lots of things (very hurtful and hard to overcome). After I knew all the details of what he was actually hiding I decided to join him with the drinking (stupid and an excuse). Now I have a problem. I know that drinking is not what I want. I know that drinking is not good for me. I know I want more. I keep trying and I keep relapsing at about 10 days. No AA (did that the first time) around here now. Anyway, I admire so many people on this site and know exactly how hard it is. I just feel lost. So...there it is...I am weak and struggling with no sobriety date to put in my profile.