He took away your feeling of being safe by showing up unannounced.
You are in your home now, surrounded by your sweet dogs and your son whom you love. You are safe again.
We need to be in safe places emotionally. You can't feel safe around him right now. I know and understand, it is the response to trauma when we've had enough, even if we contributed.
Be good to YOU!
Easier said that done...but crucial.