It is good to know he is somewhere safe, focusing on getting better. Good to know he hasn't given up on himself or sobriety. I also know that there is no chance of a healthy anything until he stays sober and productive outside of treatment.
I am going to try not to focus on the unknowns and keep reminding myself of the things I just listed. Being held in suspension like this is hard. Do I write letters as a friend only? Still be all lovey dovey? I have no clue. Then last night I had an epiphany! I said 'who cares! I am just going to be who I want to be and unless he says otherwise I am going to still express myself with him how I have been this whole time with understanding love and compassion'. If he can't handle it, it is his issue, not mine.
Just gotta keep on keepin on.
All your feedback has been so helpful btw. Glad to know my feelings about this are common. It is like being in suspension, or put up on some dusty shelf. But only if I ALLOW that to happen. I am not going to.