Tandem545: (((hugs))) to you. I read in your post the hurt because your mom was not your advocate in this whole drama. Wouldn't it have been nice if you could have overheard your mom say, "Addict sister, this is my home, and you will not tell me when or where or how much I see of my other daughter. So get over it."
But you did not hear that. I too think it would be helpful to talk to your mom in a non-emotional way about the whole thing. Not so much that your mom will have a change a heart, but because if you keep that inside it will just fester and cause you a lot of damage. And I also highly suggest face-to-face 12-step meetings (like Alanon) where you can get this hurt out around people who have gone through the same thing and have been able to "get through it", whatever that means.
If you were my daughter, I'd just give you the biggest bear hug.
Sojourner.