tandem
My son is the addict in my life. My daughter (like you) took a backseat to his addiction for a long time. It hurts me to realize that I was party to that. My son lost his sister. And I was at risk of losing my daughter. She just got sick and tired of it and I don't blame her.
My daughter handled it all remarkably well. Without any vendictiveness, she basically eliminated her brother from her life. And she limited contact with me for a while. She took care of herself. I am so proud of her for putting herself and her needs first. She's such a smart girl.
I read a lot of resentment in your post. So here's a question.....what can you do differently that could eliminate the resentment you feel? Sometimes little changes that we make, cause changes in those around us. Resentment (and anger) is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Take care of you first....and the resentment may fade away.
gentle hugs