Phew. Where to start.
1. I have ordered the book "You can heal your life". I will read it this weekend as I am alone (my children are with their father).
2. I want to go to a local al-anon - just have to try and check that the OW who my XH left me for is not still going. I simply WONT be around her.
3. Thumper. I so want to be that woman (your friend) you describe in your post. I can only imagine the confidence to live like that.
4. I am making a list of all the things that were NOT always ok in my relationship with ABF - so I can gain perspective. I tend to romanticise the good times.
Some things relating to 4 include:
- We always did what he wanted to do, which was generally stay home and watch sport on TV.
- Getting messages - can you phone me?
- There was a function that I really wanted to go to. He said we would if he did not have his kids. He did not have his kids and decided to stay home watching sport and drinking. I went out on my own.
- Always (when drinking) checks his mobile phone compulsively.
- I always had to arrange things. When he invited me to dinner at his house, I was expected to bring the dinner.
- He used to text me at 10, 11pm at night when travelling with "are you awake" followed by text messages. These have since stopped altogether.
- He used to text me during the day - this has stopped as it puts pressure on him.
- He took a lady friend out to dinner twice (work colleague) but could not do that for me (I was away at the time)
- He used to play VERY rough with my one son and hurt him the one time. I went ballistic and told him to never ever play roughly with him again.
- Complained that I never initiated anything - now that I do - I pressure him.
Am still working on the list........