I have since blocked his emails.
That sounds so simple, yet it's profound and powerful.
I wish I had figured this one out a lot earlier than I did. I still took the calls, I still read the emails and letters, and I kept playing "it's over, it's over, c'mon over." I just couldn't wrap myself around the idea that WE were toxic. It wasn't a healthy relationship and likely would never be anything other than toxic. It took me a long time to disentangle myself from him and from us... and it took me being in a lot of emotional pain before I could take that action.
One day at a time, learning about boundaries, working my own recovery, those are the things that helped me the most.