Originally Posted by
Tally 
Aw, I'm glad to of helped. I think if you're planning to stay with him for the forseeable then the best thing you can do for yourself is learn about detachment, it will help you both in the long run. I've found that an active addict can't keep promises and 9 times out of 10 (or 9.9999 times out of 10) they will let you down.
I got to the point after being let down so many times that when I would hear the "right that's it...I'm cutting back" line I would just smile and say "that's good", knowing in my head it would be forgotten within the week.
Believing their promises and putting expectations on their head is no good, it just makes us feel angry and upset when they fail and them feel guilty and more ashamed that they can't control it yet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you don't have expectations then you can't be let down.
Not the best way to live but the only way to stay sane whilst in a relationship with an A.
i will try with all my heart to do that....to not expect anything from him. i just need to learn how to cope with the yelling and fighting. i am very angry at myself this morning. i let myselft get caught up with his drunken behavior last night and i fought back. i even slapped him across the face for making a horrible comment about my mother. (who happens to love him and iis very good to him) something i said i woudn't do agan. its pointless to argue with someone who is intoxicated. but i was so angry at him. he even called my work and left a message that was not exactly appropriate language. i could get fired for that. i can't afford to lose my job becasue of him..... i just want to forget about yesterday and have a peaceful day today. i want to enjoy my holiday and my family without babysitting him..... i sound like i want a lot but i know in my heart, i deserve it!