I hate how my alkie mind thinks. I hate asking for help. did that before when i was sure I was done drinking and I wasn't. I hate feeling like why bother if I'm just gonna go back to drinking when the dust settles. I know that's just my addiction talking to me, but it is what it is. Need to counter those negative thoughts by thinking better ones and the success stories I read here and hear in the rooms of those that didn't give up and finally - even after years, they were able to stop.