Have you tried
Alanon online?
I too am not religious, have my arguments against church, etc. But. I also found that I was using that as an excuse NOT to go to Alanon or group meetings (not to say that you are doing that...this was just
MY 'excuse'). I still have a hard time going, and often I read what I feel like I'm ready for, I stop in here, I've had both Codependent No More & Beyond Codependency checked out for months from the library...
Recovery is hard and it's been a VERY long year trying to figure out what I'm comfortable with, how I'm contributing to an Alcoholic Relationship and what I CAN do about it and what I will tolerate.
I do still worry that AH and I will fizzle and not have much in common. But I remind myself that I don't like who I am when I have to deal with AH's alcoholic behavior. This is the only life I have, and I was so tired of all the crap that AH kept pulling. It stopped being acceptable to me. Your partner DOES have the ability to be a responsible adult. We take it one day at a time and honestly, the serenity prayer does a lot for me. Just posting here is a HUGE step for many people. Keep looking for meetings, read what you can get your hands on, and you'll find a group that isn't touchy-feely, preachy, etc. In the meantime, sound off here
