You are in such a painful spot right now. I remember it well. Take a deep breath. Try and find a quiet spot in your mind. A place where you can cast out all the input from family and your husband. You know what you need. You have found that voice inside you. Protect it and honor it.
You don't have to figure everything out. Just keep doing the next right thing. It is soooo hard to know what that is sometimes but the right thing is what leads to a healthy you, a healthy mother, a healthy home. Do what you need to do to make those things happen. The next right thing.
You can let his words roll off you. You can let it go. What he thinks, says, does, doesn't change what you know, deep in your heart. It doesn't change *you* and take care not to let it crowd out your own internal voice. I know the world can seem crazy and confusing at this point so keep reading. Attend alanon if you can.
You can take control over your own life, your own happiness, and you do not need his cooperation, his changing, or his understanding to do it.