Feel like we are in the same boat
I am so glad I found someone who is going thru what I am going thru. I also feel like I am at the breaking point and will be the one who is hospitalized and AH will still continue to drink while I suffer from a heart attack or stroke. I am 36 years old w/ a three yr old and a 19 month old. My grandmother who is like my mom is dying. I work everyday and commute 3 hrs total to and from work.
I do not need another child to take care of. He just got back from the doctor an hour ago w/ a pity party for himself. He doesn't get what toll this takes on me. I believe he will never get it. He called me today and said the doctor said, "I am not an alcoholic I have severe chronic depression."
I am just praying for peace for me and my two boys. A home in where I can restfully and peacefully lay my head at night to fight this brutal harsh world. With my husband for the last four years I haven't had that. It has been a rolller coaster ride. Up down side to side. Granted we have had some beautiful precious moments. The birth of our boys, the holidays this past Halloween but they are always in the shadow of his blackouts, arrests, broken glass the neighbors talking behind or backs about the "perfect little suburban family".
I am at my wits end too and am on the brink of being unable to help myself. If it weren't for my two little babies I would be long gone. I am trying to keep my family together for God's sake. I have no money everything is in our home. He would track me down no matter where I went anyway. I feel like a caged animal with no room to breathe. This whole thing is an utter nightmare. It doesn't make me happy to say you aren't alone.
Be well!