Well now, let me get this straight! You feel guilty for NOT wanting to spend the rest of your life with your bipolar obsessive compulsive alcoholic boyfriend that will not go to a group for help or a psychiatrist, and refuses to take medications for help. I know that you didn't mention obsessive compulsive disorder; however, you did write "Right now he has turned to working out and running all of the time. He becomes obsessive with working out when he stops drinking."
I, unfortunately, have experienced the downward spiral of mistrust and resentment as once healthy and mutually supportive relationships begin to corrode under the toxic effects of the addictive process. Because addiction by definition is an irrational, unbalanced and unhealthy behavior pattern resulting from an abnormal obsession, it simply cannot continue to exist under normal circumstances. The insane and unsupportable thinking and behavior of the addict must be justified and rationalized so that the addiction can continue and progress. Addicts protect themselves by lies, distortions and evasions. Addictions interfer in any normal ongoing personal relationships. As the addictive process claims more of the addict's self, his addiction will become his primary relationship to the detriment of all others.
The addict's obsession-driven private reality prevents him from being able to hear and listen to anything that would if acknowledged pose a threat to the continuance of his addiction. At this stage of addiction the addict is in fact functionally insane. In this stage of addiction most people are quickly aware that they are dealing with someone not in their right mind - but in the case of the equally or at times even more insane addict, thinking that is in fact delusional may be and commonly is misattributed to potentially remediable voluntary choices and moral decisions, resulting in still more confusion and muddying of the already turbulent waters around the addict and his addiction.
"Denying reality doesn't make it go away, it only prolongs the suffering."
Thank God for small miracles! Thank God you are only 25 years old! Thank God you are NOT married! Thank God you have no children with your boyfriend! Thank God for Recovery Programs! Thank God for SR!
Keep posting! It works......If you work it!
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