Ok so I went out to dinner. Was very guarded indeed. He pulled out all the stops and treated me like a lady - and then told me that he WAS going to have a few drinks at dinner. I was a bit taken aback and said ok. He then said he did not need my permission. TRUE. Anyway we had really nice dinner and while he did have a few drinks we chatted and he SEEMED so attentive towards me. In fact it was a really great dinner. He said that I need to give him time to heal and not to put pressure on him. I am not sure what kind of pressure he thinks I am putting on him as he has been the one to elect to see me, to persue me, to pop in and visit every other night etc. I told him that a relationship is TWO way and that if he feels I put him under pressure then why not just walk away and stop this "I love you" stuff.
Anyway.....having had the support of everyone here, I was "emotionally detached" from him and am really trying heard to "block the heart now". After dinner, I thanked him for the lovely time.....
...then I did not see him in 48 hours. I mean he sent about 4 text messages but it was clear he was drinking at home alone as when I saw him on Sunday he stank of booze and looked terrible................I got on with my own stuff (which is new to me) and later on in the evening he phoned me to ask if he could come around and visit. I said yes as my children were not home. He appeared sober and fine and then asked me what was wrong as I seem to have "attitude" (I guess it is disconnection). He explained once again that he loves me and wants me in his life but I need to give him time to heal from his divorce as it is really getting to him again. He said that I am too "deep" and must lighten up a bit.........
So...............while I am still confused.............it is not hurting so much as I am trying to focus on me and what I want out of a relationship. I have not texted him today like I always did in the past few months, nor have I e-mailed...and now strangely enough he seems to be making an effort.
He is going away for the next two weeks and quite frankly I want to see what happens. My ex husband (left for another woman) treated me with no regard at the end and I simply cant let this man do the same. I am beginning to see he is a sweet talker of note.
I still cant beleive how booze makes them change and withdrawl.