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Even when we do mess up (and I'm not implying in any way that you did), it's the fact that we recognize it and determine to do better next time. We have to forgive ourselves for being human and for being mothers who love our children.
For me it is always two steps forward, one step back, three steps forward, one step back and so on. I never get it perfectly. I love the saying "progress not perfection".
Get some rest. Cut yourself some slack. And give yourself a pat on the back because you've done some things lately that took enormous courage and tremendous love. You're doing ok.
gentle hugs