I Didn't Do Very Well
Came home early from work, it was slow, so I shouldn't even have been home. AS knocked on my door, I opened the door, could smell the alcohol and see that he was drunk. (Mind you I haven't heard from him in 5 days, he was hating me for having him arrested.)
Asked what he wanted. He thought I had a carton of his cigs. Explained I didn't. Asked if he could borrow some, so I gave him a pack of mine and said good night and closed the door.
Now I'm angry at myself for giving him the cigs. I shouldn't have done that, but I did. Why couldn't I just say no and close the door. Or at least said I didn't have any. And I should have told him not to come to my door when he wasn't sober.
Obviously I wasn't expecting him, but I need to be prepared for these surprises. I know now that even while he's hating me for having him arrested, he'll still come to me when he needs something when he's drunk. So I need to be ready and know what I'm going to do when it happens again.
My 12 - 13 hour shifts on weekends leave me pretty tired and I guess vulnerable. Now I'm aware of tha, but I'm still dissappointed in myself and mad at myself.