Ughhhhh. I am sorry to hear that.
Mine exABF made a list about me that he didn't know I found. We tried to attend counseling - he only went once and quit. But he had made a list about me of the things he didn't like I assume to talk about to the counselor. One on the list, "socialability issues." Oh was I mad. Basically because I did not enjoy hanging out with his drunk friends, I have socialability issues.
We do work in the software engineering world which is a bit stranger...but I am considered one of the most social and most popular in almost every office I've worked at - including with my ex. (We both used to work in the same office.)
I chalk it up to the alcohol in the brain.
What helped me in the long run was getting dettached from people who knew XABF so I could no longer hear hurtful comments, or anything at all about him. Very very hard but it is priceless to relax and talk to someone who doesn't even know about alcoholism, let alone know toxic people and hang out with them.
I did this. The people that we were mutually friends with AND the people that I used to work with because he still works there. They would occasionally say things like that or let things get back to me and I decided for my own mental sanity to cut them out. It was really hard because those people were like family to me.
I have spent some time keeping to myself to process everything. But now - I'm trying to find other interests that help me meet new people. Such as today I'm taking golf lessons. And I'm thinking of signing up for bowling lessons too. How social is that? lol.
And what's so social about getting with a small group of people and getting so plastered that you can't talk or sometimes even stay conscious? I've read some really good arguments about that - how it is actually "anti-social" although it still doesn't help me. I am still a little mad. I'm sure he's sitting there with his friends getting drunk and talking about my "socialability" issues. Grrrrrr.