Please help me
Good Morning. I'm writing to ask for your help to get through this day without drinking. Every morning I tell myself this is the day. I can do this, but I don't see it through. I feel so afraid of this thing that has an iron clad grip on me. I don't know how to surrender to God. I don't know how to embrace this suffering as a gift. I've been reading about ego and old habit energies. I've been trying to just get comfortable with the cravings that constantly roll through me like powerful waves. I've been trying to let them come and go - peacefully. Somehow, I always cave in - switch to auto pilot and in a way disappear (for a while anyway). I'm counting the minutes until noon so I can go the grocery store and pretend I need food when the only thing I need is wine. I've been drinking for a long time and I drink every day. Somehow, it hasn't ruined my marriage or my job. But I feel ruined. I really would appreciate your advice. I've been visiting this site and you inspire me.