What helped me in the long run was getting dettached from people who knew XABF so I could no longer hear hurtful comments, or anything at all about him. Very very hard but it is priceless to relax and talk to someone who doesn't even know about alcoholism, let alone know toxic people and hang out with them.
Perhaps he meant "adult". By now I believe that if I was not in a wet shirt contest drunk as hell unable to walk and getting in his car and do anything in bed to please him and be happy being emotionally abused- I was the most boring person on Earth.
Its stuff like this -irrational distorsions of reality- that separates a lot of couples, once one of them gets healthy enough.
Congratulations on being so strong all this time. I am glad your child has YOU.
No contact is a very wide thing for me. I am valuable and need my environment to support me. Sometimes people need drama or they don't notice how their comments hurt others. Its on us to create a safer social circle