...and we certainly don't need to agree with each other. My point about posting less (which was a suggestion and not a direction) is that sometimes there is often more to be learned by listening, and when I am thinking about what I'm going to say next I'm not listening. She may or may not be doing that, but that's what I was trying to say. In retrospect I agree with you I should not have suggested she post less. Thanks for calling me on that. My apologies.
There is a board for new people, and this isn't it. It's the Newcomers Board. This is, in fact, a Friends and Family Al-Anon Board. While it is completely appropriate to let go, vent, and have people who understand and will listen without judgement, we are supposed to be very careful in how we offer advice (more like "suggest" and "consider," and less like "do this."). BTW, I don't see very much political correctness in Al-Anon meetings, or see how that's related to recovery in any way, and I go to two or more a week.
You are also correct that older members don't always know or have the answers. I agree 100 percent. I'm sharing my view as I see it, and trying to share experience, strength, and hope.
As to the "Poor me" comment and my implication that she is focused on him and his behavior, rather than on her and her recovery, I stand behind it. I don't like it when people call me on my stuff either, but I'm sure glad they do. I'm not here so others can reinforce my opinions, I'm here so they'll respond to them just like you did. That's how I learn. That said, it is clear that you also were offended by it, so to both of you I extend my apologies. Being offensive was not my intent at all.
Lastly, it's one thing to be politically correct, and it's another to indict another group of people altogether. While there are most certainly many grey areas around recovery and what is right and wrong, in my opinion the sociopath post was a little beyond the pale. There are many, many alcoholics who are very anti-Al-Anon, and comments like that are a big part of the reason (as is the fact that we teach their enablers to not enable).
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
P.s. I can be an ******* sometimes, so feel free to tell me when you think I'm manifesting my assholiness.
Originally Posted by
Tally 
I don't think acdirito needs to post less at all. The whole thing about new members coming here and finding a place such as this is that they finally have somewhere to let go, vent, have people who understand and will listen without judgement and offer advice and ESH.
Read more by all means but don't post less. It's only through posting and getting feedback that you learn what it's all about. There are many stages to recovery and no one, at whatever stage they're at, should be told to post less, imho.
New members don't always get it right, nor do older members who have thousands of posts.
I thought this was an F&F board, not a 12 steps board and I agree with the "politically correct" statement. I didn't think we had to worry about that here either.
If I were acdirito I would find your "poor me" comment offensive.