STBXAH planned a lovely evening for our first wedding anniversary: take out from my favorite restaurant, candles, roses, and, of course, wine and vodka. I ended up having the flu and getting incredibly sick that day; spent the evening alternately shivering and burning up and retching miserably. Rather than do anything remotely helpful, he got mad, proceeded to drink down the vodka and berated me for being sick after he did all that work. He never planned anything else and refused to do anything I tried to plan for any other anniversary and there have been 9, though only 7 under the same roof. A 7-year tantrum, because I had the audacity to have the flu when he planned a romantic evening.