Hi everyone! It’s hard to believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted on here and it’s hard to believe that I still feel like I’ve come home to visit! That should say a lot to any of you newbies here. You have definitely found a great place to help you deal with your problem as it relates to the addiction of a loved one.
I was here as a moderator when my granddaughter was born and she just turned 5 in August. The first 4 years of her life were pretty good and Mr. Marteen and I were so very proud of the advancement and behavior of her mother, our addict daughter. Things were definitely up and down but through the mostly UP, we became a family again and were enjoying the relationship with our sweet, adorable granddaughter. AD tried the best she could and made many attempts to keep up the appearance of “normal”. We could see the long-term damage the prior drug use had done but we relished our time together as much as we could. And, of course, we prayed that she would not stray off the path of sobriety as long as she had her daughter to raise.
This, unfortunately, was shattered into a million pieces last Christmas. It started slowly and developed into complete relapse on her part. Sad to say, it has become a complete disaster and at the present time, we do not even know where our AD and granddaughter are.
The last time I have seen my AD is in July and the last time I’ve seen our granddaughter is in June. AD met a recovering addict and the two of them were just like poison to each other. They both currently have two arrest warrants on them and we have filed for temp. legal custody of our granddaughter, if we find her. AD has lost everything she worked so hard to gain but we have accepted that as her choice. What is so difficult for us is that our sweet little granddaughter doesn’t have a choice. She is the main loser and does not deserve this.
We are praying that someone finds her so we can take her and keep her in a safe environment and enroll her in kindergarten.
There is, of course, a lot more sordid details as you can imagine but I won’t go into them. I just wanted to share my disappointment and worry with those who understand where I am coming from. We are well equipped with the necessary tools in our toolbox from all my time spent here as a guest and a mod but sometimes it gets devastating enough to have to vent to those who can understand and share your perspective.
To put it mildly, it has not been easy and our hearts have been broken again by AD’s behavior but we don’t allow it to control us or our lives. The worry over GD (granddaughter) is a new aspect but we know that AD loves her and we are banking on the fact that she has tried to keep her safe, at least. The bail bonds company has a PI trying to find her (of course, they want their money) and he has told us that from a good source of his, AD and boyfriend do not have GD anymore. He thinks they have her hidden in a safe place because having a kid around while trying to sell and/or obtain drugs and being on the run just calls too much attention to them. So, we are praying that she is in a safe environment.
I just wanted to reiterate that I hate drugs and what they have done to my AD and especially what she has allowed them to do to her. What I hate the most this time around is that I can never trust her to be her daughter’s mother ever again! For that, I am very, very sad.
Thank you for allowing me to vent and share even though it wasn’t good news. But the good news is that hubby, sober daughter (NOW a Ph.D candidate and teaching graduate classes!) and I are not allowing AD’s chaotic behavior to control us. For that, I have Sober Recovery and all the wonderful people here to thank.
Love ya,
Marteen
