Hello new and old friends!

Old 11-11-2010, 07:33 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Hello new and old friends!

Hi everyone! It’s hard to believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted on here and it’s hard to believe that I still feel like I’ve come home to visit! That should say a lot to any of you newbies here. You have definitely found a great place to help you deal with your problem as it relates to the addiction of a loved one.

I was here as a moderator when my granddaughter was born and she just turned 5 in August. The first 4 years of her life were pretty good and Mr. Marteen and I were so very proud of the advancement and behavior of her mother, our addict daughter. Things were definitely up and down but through the mostly UP, we became a family again and were enjoying the relationship with our sweet, adorable granddaughter. AD tried the best she could and made many attempts to keep up the appearance of “normal”. We could see the long-term damage the prior drug use had done but we relished our time together as much as we could. And, of course, we prayed that she would not stray off the path of sobriety as long as she had her daughter to raise.

This, unfortunately, was shattered into a million pieces last Christmas. It started slowly and developed into complete relapse on her part. Sad to say, it has become a complete disaster and at the present time, we do not even know where our AD and granddaughter are.

The last time I have seen my AD is in July and the last time I’ve seen our granddaughter is in June. AD met a recovering addict and the two of them were just like poison to each other. They both currently have two arrest warrants on them and we have filed for temp. legal custody of our granddaughter, if we find her. AD has lost everything she worked so hard to gain but we have accepted that as her choice. What is so difficult for us is that our sweet little granddaughter doesn’t have a choice. She is the main loser and does not deserve this.

We are praying that someone finds her so we can take her and keep her in a safe environment and enroll her in kindergarten.

There is, of course, a lot more sordid details as you can imagine but I won’t go into them. I just wanted to share my disappointment and worry with those who understand where I am coming from. We are well equipped with the necessary tools in our toolbox from all my time spent here as a guest and a mod but sometimes it gets devastating enough to have to vent to those who can understand and share your perspective.

To put it mildly, it has not been easy and our hearts have been broken again by AD’s behavior but we don’t allow it to control us or our lives. The worry over GD (granddaughter) is a new aspect but we know that AD loves her and we are banking on the fact that she has tried to keep her safe, at least. The bail bonds company has a PI trying to find her (of course, they want their money) and he has told us that from a good source of his, AD and boyfriend do not have GD anymore. He thinks they have her hidden in a safe place because having a kid around while trying to sell and/or obtain drugs and being on the run just calls too much attention to them. So, we are praying that she is in a safe environment.

I just wanted to reiterate that I hate drugs and what they have done to my AD and especially what she has allowed them to do to her. What I hate the most this time around is that I can never trust her to be her daughter’s mother ever again! For that, I am very, very sad.

Thank you for allowing me to vent and share even though it wasn’t good news. But the good news is that hubby, sober daughter (NOW a Ph.D candidate and teaching graduate classes!) and I are not allowing AD’s chaotic behavior to control us. For that, I have Sober Recovery and all the wonderful people here to thank.

Love ya,
Marteen
marteen is offline  
Old 11-11-2010, 08:38 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
get it, give it, grow in it
 
Spiritual Seeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Oh my, sorry to hear about the relapse Marteen.
Addiction is cunning and lays in wait.
It will come back around and re-destroy the child that we were getting
reacquainted with and rip them again from our family.

We have to cherish the good times and remain hopeful they can come again.
Spiritual Seeker is offline  
Old 11-11-2010, 08:44 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Prayers said for all especially your Grand daughter.
lostparent is offline  
Old 11-11-2010, 08:48 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kindeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Marteen
Welcome back.......I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's relapse. The fact that there is a small child involved makes it so much more heart wrenching.

I'm really good at giving out hugs and since you need one.......

gentle hugs to you
Kindeyes is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 01:22 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
crazybabie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Marteen,

I am sorry about what your going through I can't imagine having a grandchild and not knowing for sure if she was, safe or not. I remember you from when I was here before you always brought me alot of strenght and hope.

Hugs,
crazybabie is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 03:39 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Oh Marteen, I am so glad to see you but so sad for your news and I will keep your daughter and granddaughter in my prayers

I really hope they can find the child and that you get custody. It's the children who have no voice in this who must be protected at all costs. She is so blessed to have a grandma like you.

I must say that even through this dark time, your recovery is shining. It's amazing how those recovery tools can see us through such dark times. And please know that we're sharing our light with you today and walking with you through these troubled times.

Love you lots and hope things get better very very soon.
Ann is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 05:42 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
cece1960's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Hi there Marteen,
Wow its great to hear from you, but I am so sorry for the turn things have taken. I truly hope that your AD will be found soon, and that your GD can settle in with you and the Mr. She is so lucky to have you.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

(((Hugs)))
cece1960 is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 07:34 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Prayers going out.......Marteen
CarolD is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 09:38 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
BBD
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Hugs and prayers coming your way.
BBD is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 01:48 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Morning Glory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,680
Lots of hugs and prayers my dear friend. I hope you locate your granddaughter very soon. I know that must be overwhelming not knowing where she is. I am really happy to know that you were able to spend time with her and your daughter.
Morning Glory is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 04:14 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
CatsPajamas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
OH Marteen !!! It is so very good to hear from you and about you, although I'm very sad that your AD has chosen to go out and do more research.

I will add you and your family to my prayers, with special hope that you and your sweet innocent granddaughter are reunited soon.

Much love to you and Mr Marteen too.
CatsPajamas is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 05:43 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 390
You sound amazing which gives me hope despite outcomes. My heart hurts for you regarding your granddaughter and I hope very soon you are reunited, as you all deserve to be. Take care.
newnormal4me is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 07:47 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
greeteachday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
My heart goes out to you, dear Marteen. I'm so sorry that your daughter has made this choice and that your poor granddaughter is not able to see her wonderful grandparents. My prayers are with you all.
greeteachday is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 08:32 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Exactly where my HP wants me to be
Posts: 136
Welcome back. Sorry to hear about the circumstances with the grand baby, I'll say a prayer for you and your family.

Be well.
Nerdgirl is offline  
Old 11-12-2010, 08:38 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Marteen, I've missed you, welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear your daughter relapsed and put your grand-daughter in the mix. As my RAD has two children I know how worried you must be. I am praying for you, Mr Marteen, your daughter and GD.

Hugs & Prayers,
Chris
Serenity Bound is offline  
Old 11-15-2010, 05:03 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
I just can't begin to tell you how powerful this circle of love and support is! I could almost feel it through cyberspace! It means so much more than you know to have you express your feelings and support. I know whenever I am feeling alone and isolated, I have this place to come to. I needed it this time and will continue.

Until we can find the whereabouts of our little granddaughter, I will need the distraction. Work can only cover up so much as you all know. Having the knowledge that I do about addiction and my AD's behavior makes the whole situation so much worse. But as I said, I know AD loves her little girl very much; just hope she realizes that her behavior esp. with this ABF is poison for her little girl.

Thanks for being there and your well wishes.

Hugs,
Marteen
marteen is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:07 AM.