One of the toughest things for us in early sobriety is to let go of our old ideas and such, this includes old friends. I have friends that I grew up with have known them basically my whole life and it hurts deeply have to part ways with some of them. But in order to keep my sobriety I had to. I still do talk to them on occasions to see if they're ready to come into the rooms, but I don't hang out with them anymore. I've only got a lil over 10 months right now but in the beginning is when I realized who my true friends were. Those are the guys who respect my decision to not drink anymore, the ones that realize all I was doing was killing myself slowly. They are the ones who make it a point not to offer me alcohol and get in the face of someone that does. They know that I was tired of the way I was living and that I want to be the best father I can possibly be for my 2 lil ones, and for that I truly love the... in regards to the pills I would stay away from them. We already exhibit addictive personalities and to stop drinking only to start poppin pills is trading one addiction for the other. And its ok to be embarrassed to ride your bike to a meeting. Humility is one of the principles that we are supposed to live in all our affairs. I know a guy whose car broke down but he was secretary of a meeting so had to go. He made it to the meeting but when he showed up he was on a lavender colored girls bike with a banana seat and streamers. You seem like you really want sobriety and I'm sure you know the work that must be done to achieve it. So keep your head up we all have slip ups. The point is we're able to pick our selves up again, get back into the rooms and learn from our mistakes. God bless man and remember all you have to do is not drink or take anything TODAY, NO MATTER WHAT.