Aww, I think it is normal to miss him. There is nothing wrong with you. You didn't get together with him because he was a complete louse all the time. I had good times, good feelings, good memories of my xah and I miss those. I miss them no matter what. Even if he was sober, and he has been for a few weeks now, I can never go back. Those memories are my past. They can't be relived in my present because there is history (and awareness) now that was not there when those memories were made.
It is sad but I try and keep moving forward - with my eyes wide open and fixed on reality. Your hope is where the danger lies IMO. That is key for me. To remain in the here, the now, the reality. I can't allow myself to live in a dream, or for a dream/hope, or not be 100% honest and truthful about what IS, not what I want.
Make sense? It sound so pessimistic but for me hope needs to be 100% in myself - not him.
A goal is not a plan.
Hope is not a strategy.