Do you know the serenity prayer? It is at the bottom of my posts. It has taught me that I am responsible for removing MYSELF from abusive and toxic situations. I used to be hurt, confused and disappointed, and cry, complain, and become dramatic in response to the abuse of others. Even as recently as last year, and even in work relationships. Now I know that if I do not want abuse and ill treatment to continue, I have to make my self responsible for making that happen.
Learn2Live - I know that you are trying to help. But please be kind to people who have been abused. Sometimes it's not as simple as "make myself responsible" and "stop complaining." I go to a really good counselor now who is helping me - my mother was and still is an abusive b*. She brought strange men in the house and I got to listen to ALL of them if you know what I mean, two were even from prison. She was never home unless she was screwing someone. She told me she hated me my whole childhood, wished I was a boy, that I was jealous of her...I couldn't even help you get that picture or begin to list all the horrible things she did and said. I can honestly say that I do not have a memory of one good day with her. And I was a very quiet scared child...not in trouble or doing bad things. When you have someone beat you down for 18 years, you believe you are worth nothing. Well my mom thought I was crap, why wouldn't this guy? Maybe I really am crap. All my growing up, I always thought all I had to worry about, was not be like her and my relationships would be okay.
What I didn't know...is that instead I was going to date her.
Yippee, lol.