We ALL feel like if we don't take that call, don't go to the hearing,don't pay that bill, WE will regret it. What I regret is not showing my daughter what a person will and will not tolerate. Her yelling and blaming you..why would you take another day off work, schlep down to the courthouse to "support" her? The messages we send by what we WON'T do are really powerful.I've done it..let my daughter flounder..and every time..she has learned something.If not about herself, then about ME and where my boundaries are. It's really hard, but when you get in the program you will see how alot of the helping isn't helpful.