Sorry my thread is such a hard read. It was spaced in paragraphs when i wrote it...it didn't transfer the same when i posted it somehow.
I guess I feel like if i don't go, that something will happen, and she will think i wasn't there for her and turned my back on her. I don't know yet, how to get passed that feeling. Or if I can. She is my only child, she is "what i do" ...since the day she was born, I quit being me, and became "her mom". And that has defined me ever since.