Hi J
I'm not sure what your asking either - but I know I've never met anyone who was a hopeless alcoholic.
It took me 15 years to get it, but for most of that time I wanted to be a normal drinker.
Sounds like you might have the same problem?
I went through periods of 'control' too...they were mostly good luck, not good management.
I ended up drinking less too - but that was fear and sickness in equal measure, not that I was getting 'better' in any way
I have to say - until I accepted that I would
never be a normal drinker, and until I accepted that alcohol had
no place in my life, I kept returning to the bottle. It was like a bad lover for me.
The good news is we can stop all the madness whenever we like. Don't wait until catastrophe strikes like I did.
You've managed over 100 days so you must want to be sober on some level and you've proven you can do it....if the AA meetings you've been too are too hardcore for you (not sure what you mean there but I'm not AA) have you tried others, or other programmes?
If you're not sure your counsellor is the right fit for you, maybe it's in your best interests
to find another?
Don't give up - you're a long way from where you were - you shouldn't forget that
D