(((Nightowl)))
I, too, got to the point where I would literally cry with shame over what I had allowed in my life and in my children's lives. I think now though that a valuable lesson is being learned by me and my children. No matter how hopeless the situation, if I have faith in myself and work to improve myself, there is always hope. I can rely on myself.
If my children learn that lesson from this situation, I can be proud of the way I raised them. It will serve them well.
I have also come to understand that my opinion of myself is the only opinion that matters. I am strong enough and smart enough to decide what I want for myself and what "labels" I deserve. Once I began to really believe that I am perfectly capable of running my own life, other people's opinions and "labels" didn't really matter to me anymore. They don't know - they aren't me.
You are smart enough, strong enough and willing enough to run your own life. It sounds like you're doing a fine job to me.
Hugs - L